Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Day 19 of my 100 Day No Excuses Challenge

So this morning when I was going through the SparkCoach tasks, Becky Hand was discussing your “Happy Weight”. She defines this as not being about a chart or graph or some magical number that you have in your head for years. This really made me start to think. I talked to my doctor awhile back about my goal weight for Weight Watchers. I told her that I honestly didn’t think that I could get to the ideal weight of 96 to 120 pounds. We agreed on 135. She indicated that it would not put me in a healthy BMI range. Honestly, I can remember being 125 when I got pregnant with my son and felt pretty good at that weight. Sadly, even smaller than that, I thought I was fat back then, but my body honestly seemed comfortable at 19 years old at 125. This is a journey and I’m fully aware of this. I’ll see where my body is comfortable and how I feel. What I do know for sure is that any loss of any percentage of my body mass right now, is a step in the right direction and will give me great health benefits. I went out for dinner with friends last night to celebrate my birthday with them AND it was their last night in Texas. They are moving to Florida. In the spirit of honesty, I probably overdid it. My family split a large Caesar salad 4 ways and I probably only ate half the lasagna and maybe half my dessert (which was AMAZING)! I stopped when my body said ENOUGH, so in that regard I am proud of myself. In order to offset some of those calories, I did an hour on the bike yesterday while catching up on Castle. This morning, I headed to the gym to get my workout on. My personal trainer/dear friend teaches a class there on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings so he holds me accountable. I checked in with him about the time he was starting class and then jumped on the Arc Trainer. I had not tried this before, but it is supposed to be no impact. I have to admit that I loved it! I truly believe that my body could tell the difference between that and the Elliptical I did on Monday. I did 30 minutes on that and then 10 minutes on the bike. I still have an hour of walking or biking in order to catch up on one of my shows. While I was headed home from the gym this morning, a song came on that I hadn’t really listened to in a while. Broken, by Seether (featuring Amy Lee) came on my ipod. I heard this part: 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open And I don't feel like I am strong enough 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome And I don't feel right when you're gone away When I heard the part that says I don’t feel like I am strong enough, I realized that I didn’t for the longest time. I didn’t think I was strong enough to deal with my past issues that were holding me back from what I wanted. You know what? I AM strong enough to take back my health and deal with my past issues that are holding me back. I held on to relationships that were not good for me. Even though I may have loved that person, they didn’t love me back the way I deserved. Is that my fault? No, it was not but I deserved more. I found that in my husband. I am so thankful for him. He accepts me as I am no matter what my weight or faults or flaws. He loves me. I accept him despite his faults or flaws. I appreciate each of you as well for your support.

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