Friday, August 23, 2013

Starting over...AGAIN

There are many of us that have been on this journey for awhile or have “restarted”, gone back to basics, etc. I think sometimes we forget why we started on this journey to be healthier. I know I have. After the comment from my doctor asking me if I had considered weight loss surgery, I was really disturbed and then shortly after I lost an old and dear friend that I realized I had known for over half my life. I have really come to realize that we are promised tomorrow. I need to take care of my body and myself because this is the one that God trusted me with and I will have it all my life. I have been listening to SparkRadio a lot in the past few weeks. Even listening again to episodes I may have already heard and trying to educate myself a little more. (side note, if you haven’t listened to SparkRadio, give it a try) I am being reminded as I listen of things that I heard before and have forgotten or used for awhile and then they went by the wayside. I began to feel a renewed sense of why I began this journey. Since 2007 when I signed up for WW, I have lost and gained probably as much weight as I originally wanted to lose. I can’t look back at that and reminisce because it didn’t stay gone. Things didn’t change permanently the way they should have. I put hard work into the pounds I lost, but I didn’t maintain what got me to that point. Yes, it’s true; to lose weight the short version is calories in vs. calories out. There is so much more to it than that though. There is emotional baggage which may be, in part, why you gained weight in the first place. Emotional eating/habitual eating that you need to determine the cause behind them or how to handle them differently. There are reasons that you haven’t changed your habits up to this point. Sometimes you do have to go back to the beginning and figure these things out. What I can do is look at my body now and realize that this is where I am starting at and God didn’t make a mistake. He blessed me with this body that does all sorts of amazing things and it is my job to take care of it. He made each one of us special and unique. I may not be perfect in my eating or in my workouts, but my body still processes the fuel I give it, but if I give it better fuel, what will I be able to accomplish then? If I don’t simply accept where I am weight wise, but not focus so hard on that number on the scale. Rid myself of the negative thoughts and feelings. I know this is a multi-step process. I learned from my past experiences that I CAN do this. 

What have I learned? I can’t expect to positive things to happen when I put myself down. I have to flip things around and focus on the positive things. I may not be able to run 5 miles today, but maybe I can run for 5 minutes. If I can’t run for 5 minutes together, perhaps I break that up and maybe I can run for 1 minute and do that 5 times. I will do what I can and be proud of that. I will set smaller goals and work with those first. I have learned that not every day of eating will be perfect. Even if I make a good choice, the orders may get mixed up and I may wind up with something else (that did in fact happen to me the other day). Every day, every meal and snack, I have a choice. I choose to make a healthier option or I can eat something not so great for me and make up for it. I may not make it exactly to 26 PointsPlus every day…some days I may be at 32 or 29. This is a process and I am in this for the long haul. 

So what am I doing? My goal for this month has been to get at least 15 minutes of exercise in per day. Some days it winds up being more than that, other days I may have to string 5 minutes together 3 times during the day to get it. It may seem like a small goal, but it is a starting place. I am shooting to stay within my target calorie range/PointsPlus range. Again, that may not happen every day, but it is a goal that I am working towards. I am not perfect and some days it will be easier than others to hit my goals. But I have a choice…what I may choose each day and each meal or snack will depend on what my mood is or what I am craving, etc. Has my mind shifted? I sure hope so. We are all on this journey for whatever reason. I cannot begin to know exactly what your journey holds just as you don’t know what my holds. I do know that I am proud of my past accomplishments and even if I’m doing it one small goal at a time, I’m making progress. As I’m sitting here listening to my ipod, Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten just came on…so I’ll end with this: “I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned”.

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